


The Needs of Another

by Calathiel (Captain_Mischief)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ficlet, It's kind of a headcanon, Just copied over from one of my twitlongers, M/M, Pining Bucky Barnes, Unhappy Ending, but still a fic? if that makes any sense, pining Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Mischief/pseuds/Calathiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn't lose him. Not now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Needs of Another

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as sad headcanon on twitter ( which I have a few of, so those will be going up before the properly written fics.) So, I hope you enjoy this, although it's definitely not well written, something of which I promise will change once I get to writing the actual stories! Thank you! x

He loved him.

Steve captured his attention in a way that no other human being could possibly do with such unintentional ease. 

His gaze would, involuntarily, drift over to focus on him at the first note of his voice that graced the air: just to see the way his eyes lit up together with the smile that adorns his lips when he spoke of one of his passions; to see the way his words fell faster from his tongue in uncontrollable excitement as he talks of the things they did together. 

The sight that sent a pang of dread through his heart, because although he had not lost him yet, he is sure to do so. He would lose him to a pretty dame that too sees the way the light shines golden in a hair; how beautiful his deep blue eyes are, so much so that even the clearest skies would be in envy of them; the gentle touch that he graces upon your skin with a soft smile and gentle words that fall like heaven from his lips. 

He couldn't lose him. So he would tell him.

It was after infiltrating a hydra camp that they walked into their shared tent together. A grin lingering on their lips after a successful mission, the rush of adrenaline that still courses through their veins to their racing hearts and the something else on their minds. Or someone else and the eagerness to share it with their closest friend, soul mate, to share the happiness that this person who consumes their rational thoughts brings. 

Within the confines of their tent they faced each other, both unaware of how those following moments could possibly have such an extraordinary impact on their lives.  
Bucky stood in complete stillness, in utter awe of how even the dim light of the fading lamp that hung from a metal pole, that kept the tent erect, could not fade the beauty that Steve held about him, the happiness that he was positively buzzing with radiating from his entire being.  
Then they both opened their mouths to speak, before closing them again with a nervous chuckle and after much insistence from either party, Steve finally saying his piece. 

"She said yes."

And with those words, the grin that had lingered on Bucky's features fell. His words that were once inflected with love and excitement, dulling into concealed dread and false curiosity as they fell from his lips, a weak imitation of his earlier smile forced to stay on his face as his mind came to the knowing conclusion of what the reply would be as the sound of his voice filled the short gap of silence.

"Who to what, Steve?"

The way Steve's voice lit up as he revealed who she was caused tears to spring into his eyes; the welling of liquid that threatened distort his vision caused him to quickly turn towards his bed, to hide the traitorously weak symbols of his despair as they trailed down his cheek. Steve, utterly oblivious to his friend's internal struggle against his emotions, turned towards his own area, preparing it for sleep as he spoke with a light, airy note, the dazed air of a man experiencing the wonders of love for the first time.

"It's Peggy, Buck! And she said yes to go on a date with me! With me! Skinny ol' Ste- Well, not so skinny now, but she likes me, Buck! She's go'nna teach me how to dance and we're go'nna have such a good time, maybe get married and have kids, one day..."

With that Bucky tuned the words out, the other's voice that had tugged at his heart and kept it in its vice grip until its siren's song was over, now pure static in his ears. His hands working automatically on his bedding as his heart slowly broke with the realisation that no, Steve would never be his.  
Why did he think he would have been anyway?  
he was the pure definition of perfection, physically and mentally, and even though he saw that before anyone else in that skinny, little asthmatic who he helped get through the harshest winters since he was a kid, who he sat by when they both feared he was on his deathbed with clutching grips and stuttered breaths, who shared the best memories of his life, It didn't matter. 

"That's great, Steve, she's a real nice gal."

If his heart broke a little further when he turned and saw those beautiful eyes light up at his approval, so much so that not even the stars could compare, well, that would be his secret.

And when he fell off that train: Well, at least his heart wouldn't hurt any more.


End file.
